Grievance...

My breasts have made an official complaint against me.
They say I 'cramp their style' -
Obstruct their view with 'inappropriate clothing'
And draw attention from them with my smile.

My breasts inform me that I'm 'over-zealous'
About eye-contact, and making conversation.
It isn't true, but they're convinced I'm jealous;
They're demanding that I pay them compensation.

My breasts are into Equal Opps and Cosmo.
Apparently, while I sleep, they go online
Where they're part of some community in Oslo,
Who insist I don't refer to them as 'mine'.

They don't need me around to pull, they tell me.
They've personality enough, they say.
I don't attract a great deal of attention -
Whilst men ask for their number every day.

I'm going to let them go to town one evening
(Although I find them rather immature)
There are so many tits out drinking on a Friday.
Two more will make no difference, I'm sure.